From the very moment that you say I do, it seems like the countdown begins for you and your spouse to start a family. Pressure from other married couples, parents, and even close friends can be enough to drive you insane. The truth is, you know you want a family, but maybe, just maybe you’re not ready to start one right now. Is that such a crime? No its not. However, that doesn’t stop the guilt, anticipation, and anxiety from getting the best of you. The best way to deal with the pressure of baby madness is to realize the benefits of waiting.
- You’re Still Learning Each Other
No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship together you’re still learning to love and live with each other. The first few years of your marriage present challenges that you may not have experienced while dating. You are essentially learning to blend two lives into one. This means sacrificing and finding common ground. Adding other pressures and responsibilities to the mix too soon can really throw things off. Why not give yourself a few years to simply enjoy the married life and all it has to offer.
- A Child is a Huge Responsibility
Not to deter anyone from parenthood, because I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but having a child is a huge responsibility at any age. Whether you’ve gotten married right out of college or you waited until your 30’s it takes a lot of commitment and understanding to successfully raise a child. Being fully responsible for the life of another human being who cannot do anything for themselves can be daunting when you’re already learning to love and care for your spouse. Having a child means putting them first in all aspects of life. While most parents make the transition just fine, if you’re not yet prepared it can present new challenges in your new marriage.
- Raising Children Costs Money
There’s no way around this last point. Raising children costs money. If you and your spouse are not financially prepared for all that is involved in caring for a child, your relationship can become strained. When your budget is tight and money is scarce, there is a heightened risk for financial distress, debt, and a host of other problems that you really shouldn’t be dealing with.
At the end of the day the first few years of your marriage are about building a foundation as a couple. While it’s true that no one can ever be truly prepared for raising a child, sometimes jumping in too soon could be the downward spiral of your marriage. If you and your spouse agree that you should wait a while before you conceive then you shouldn’t let anyone persuade you otherwise. All that really matters is that the two of you are on the same page physically, mentally, financially and spiritually before bringing another life into this world. Once you’ve gotten the hang of loving and being there for each other, you’ll be better equipped to handle the task of parenthood as a team.
