Marriage Preparation Tips for You!
Before you say, “I do,” there are a few things to keep in mind. After all, it’s rather easy to get caught up in the love and romance of being together. The two of you have been together for a decent amount of time, and now you’re ready to take the next step. Or are you?
Not to scare you or anything, but if you haven’t already been told, marriage is a lot of hard work on both parts. Many newly-engaged couples get so caught up in marital bliss that they forget about things that matter the most in life. Having a conversation with your loved one about things that matter most to you is essential, and should be done before you walk down the aisle.
Before you say “I do,” consider these key factors…
1. Finances
No one likes to talk about money, but why wait until there is an issue to bring things up? It is ideal to go into a marriage with a clean slate financially. But if you can’t, then at the very least, you should be talking to each other about your personal finances. Discuss your credit history, impending debt, and other financial details so that you’re both on the same page. Money is often the biggest reasons for divorce, so being upfront beforehand can essentially save your marriage.
2. Children
You don’t want to wait until you’ve been married for two years to discuss children. Even if you don’t plan to have kids right away, it’s important that you’re on the same page when it comes to raising a family together.
Discuss things like how many children you want to have (if at all), the types of parenting style you prefer, the values and beliefs that you wish to instill in them, etc. You may not get all of the details ironed out, but having a general idea that you’re on the same page is advised.
3. Religious Beliefs and Core Values
Your religion and core values shape the person you are today, and these are topics that can really tear a marriage apart. It is important to talk with your future spouse about your beliefs and values as a person.
While it is okay to marry someone of a different religion, you do want to make sure that your beliefs do not conflict with each other. If you’re not able to live in harmony while respecting each other’s religions and values, this could cause problems down the line in all aspects of your marriage.
4. Future Goals
Where do you see yourself five years from now? Or even ten years? Does your fiancé see him or herself in the same place? While having individual goals is fine, you have to be on the same page. You can’t have one person with the aspirations to relocate across country to work for a huge organization, and another person wanting to stay in their home town and raise a family.
Talk about where you see your life going and how it will mesh with your fiancé’s goals and aspirations.
5. Skeletons that Might Come Back
Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet that they’d prefer not to share, but when it comes to making a huge commitment like marriage it is time to put everything out on the table for your fiancé to see. Waiting until a past issue comes back to bite you in the behind is never the best solution. Your partner will be more willing to support you if they feel like you were open and honest from the beginning. Some skeletons might include: addictions, health conditions, insecurities, trust issues, an obsessive ex, or whatever else you’ve been holding back.
It might seem a bit challenging at first, but the truth is, it has to be done. Communication is certainly a huge part of marriage and while you may have fallen in love with your fiancé, once reality sets in, sometimes you see an entirely different person. Sure change happens all the time, but being on the same page from the very beginning is what will keep you strong throughout your marriage.
Are you ready to get married?
Before you say “I do,” be sure that both you are your partner are ready and have had full communications about the things that really matter. Then, you can start your new life together in the best way possible!