Does this sound familiar?
You meet your partner.
You’re enamored.
You spend hours on the phone together and every waking hour in each other’s space when you’re not working or tending to your personal responsibilities.
Your beloved becomes one of your confidantes, your best friend, your ride-or-die. While you haven’t forgotten about your family and friends, the truth is – you might want to invest a little more time into those relationships.
Here’s why:
You are Your Own Person
Romantic relationships and marriage will inevitably require your lifestyle and your partner’s to blend together. And while that doesn’t mean they need to hang out with your friends, the fact remains: maintaining your own sense of identity and relationships is healthy for a stronger marriage.
When you remain your own person – with your own hobbies and relationships outside of your marriage – you’re not relying on your partner to meet all your needs.
Many of us grow up with the fantasy that our partners should be our everything, but relationships where that is the case often dissolve or hobble along in severe dysfunction.
Healthy relationships and marriages are about two people coming together – not about one blending so easily into the other that it’s hard to tell the difference.
Relying solely on your partner for all your personal needs – the ones your friends, family, and alone time can actually address – can end up causing resentment, heartache and distance.
You were your own person before you met your partner. Remember that to maintain a healthy relationship.
Your Family & Friends Matter
Have you ever been the best friend who no longer gets calls or invitations to hang out because your BFF is too busy hanging out with her boyfriend?
Or been the BFF that only gets calls when issues come up with the partner?
Maintaining your family and personal relationships is essential if you want to keep a level head, but it also ensures that the people around you feel seen and heard –the very same things you want in your romantic relationship, too.
You Need to Maintain a Sense of Self
Most importantly, healthy relationships are the joining of two people together. In order not to get lost in your partner, it’s crucial to maintain your sense of self.
How exactly do you do that?
You may have heard the term “date yourself” – but that’s very much what you need to do, even if you are in a relationship.
Dating yourself means giving yourself space to just be. It means keeping up with your hobbies. Taking yourself out or filling up your own cup.
Whoever you were before you met your partner, whatever you did – are you still doing those things? If not, it’s time to re-prioritize your own personal time.
Here at The Marriage Movement, we help couples and individuals alike not just create a wedding to remember … but a happier, healthier marriage that’s built to last.
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